My Cat Made a Poop Balloon, And I Helped.

One morning as I’m getting ready to leave for work, I walk into the living room and notice that my cat is dragging his ass across the floor. I shrug it off and head to the kitchen to refill my coffee. On the way back I see him scooting his ass across the floor again, only this time I see something.

As I approach him to put an end to the nastiness, I notice a very small pink think sticking out of his butt.

IS THAT A WORM??

I can’t believe this cat has a fucking worm hanging out of his butt. I approach, and as I do the cat stands up and looks at me as if to say, “Help me. Free me from this prison that is in my butt.”

I lay the cat down on his back and roll him over to expose his belly. I move his tail aside and sure enough, I see something pink hanging out of his butt hole.

GOOD GOD THIS IS DISGUSTING!

My first reaction is to just grab it, but I know it’s gross, so I go to the kitchen and grab some paper towels. Funny thing, it’s like the cat knew what was coming, because he just stayed there.

I kneel down, pull his tail back and quickly grab “the worm.”

So I pull.

And pull.

And pull.

I have now pulled no less than 4-5 inches of this “worm” out of my cat’s ass. The entire time the cat is SCREAMING and trying to run away (but I’m holding him with my other hand, so he can’t).

WHAT IN THE HELL IS THIS THING, I think to myself. As I examine the thing hanging out of my cat’s butt, I realize it is the string from a balloon that we had in the house. My cat has eaten it and is now trying to pass it. The first thing that pops into my mind is, damn that string was long.

You know what? I was right.

So I keep pulling, and pulling. I’m up to about 13 inches of string and the cat is making noises I have never heard in my whole entire life.

Oh, did I mention it stinks. If you’ve never had the pleasure of pulling string out of your cat’s ass, let me just tell you that it smells awful. I gagged several times, much like a new dad changing a baby diaper.

Realizing I am late for work, I decide to speed up the process so I just YANK the string out as fast as I could.

ZIIIIIP

MMMEEEEOOOOOOWWWWW

And with that, the cat springs to it’s feet and takes off like he’s been shot out of a canon. He bounces off the couch and just like that is gone in an instant.

I have NEVER heard an animal scream in such a way; and that cat took off so fast that by the time I heard his scream he was in the next room already.

So there I am, kneeling in my living room by myself, dry heaving and holding about 20 inches of pink, poop-covered string and guess what is at the end of it? That’s right, a big old ball of cat shit.

I can’t believe what just happened. My cat made a poop balloon, and I helped.

Reflecting on this event as I drove into work that morning, I realized my error and why he freaked out so badly in the end. By pulling the string out so fast, I probably gave my poor cat a rope burn on his little cat anus.

By | 2017-01-05T11:49:51+00:00 November 19th, 2011|Funny Stories|11 Comments

About the Author:

11 Comments

  1. Rob Bantin December 23, 2011 at 8:12 pm - Reply

    omg I laughed out loud when I read this. My girlfriend was trying to talk on the phone and had to leave the room. I have had three separate cat litters in my apartment so I can appreciate where you’re coming from. Laters bud.

  2. katt March 14, 2012 at 11:06 am - Reply

    thats funny af.. though yu prolly shouldve taken it to a vet.. its possible the ribbon couldve been tangled in its instestines and yu couldve really hurt it…

  3. Ren May 1, 2012 at 10:11 pm - Reply

    My cat ran away as I was pulling out a big piece of poop that was tangled in the hair on the cat’s ass and out came a long string of poop from my cat’s ass. It does smell really fowl and I gagged as well! I thought it was a big huge 12inch worm but it was just a piece of string that my cat probably swallowed; I cut string pieces for them to play with.

    hope she will be ok and no internal damage has been done!

  4. Dash March 25, 2013 at 6:50 pm - Reply

    I’m a vet, so please take me seriously when I say this was the dumbest fucking thing you’ve ever done. If this story is actually true you could very well have killed your cat. When string goes through the intestine, the muscles of the gut grip the string as it goes past with peristalsis motions causing the string to concertina. Essentially, by pulling the string you rip through the intestines (which is why is smells so bad, that is the smell of dying mucosa). String like this is usually surgically removed, often with a whole portion of dead gut. It’s a miracle the cat survived (if it did).

    Seriously, if you notice a foreign body and your cat is screaming in pain – don’t fucking hold it down, take it to a doctor.

    • Barry March 25, 2013 at 9:55 pm - Reply

      Let me be the first to thank you for your service to our country.

      PS – 8 years later and the only thing wrong with our cat is that he likes to shit outside the litter box.
      Wait, is that a symptoms?

  5. Heather June 4, 2013 at 7:31 pm - Reply

    You are kind of an asshat.
    I can’t believe it didn’t occur to you to stop.

  6. lilly January 12, 2014 at 3:31 am - Reply

    What an idiot you should not have pets. And what the Hell is that picture of a man swinging a cat? Disgusting ! You need reporting

    • Barry January 13, 2014 at 10:47 am - Reply

      Hi Lilly. I have no idea what the picture is, it looked like a cat balloon to me, so I used it.

  7. JenSkim January 2, 2015 at 2:21 pm - Reply

    Y’all…. this is kind of funny at the beginning, but the solution is not. That string could have been wrapped around one of the folds in his intestine, or another organ. Please don’t do this to your cat! Let him pass it naturally. Yanking out the string probably caused the cat a lot of pain. Imagine doing the same to yourself.

  8. Carson April 19, 2016 at 9:13 pm - Reply

    Lol yeah that guy is holding a cool cat balloon. Your story made me laugh, anus rope burn… really lol! Funny shit, bet your cat loved you after that lol

  9. Buffy September 2, 2017 at 10:43 pm - Reply

    This is an absolutely horrible story. And that picture you used??? Seriously? You thought it looked like A cat balloon? It looks more like some sick old man killing his cat! But if you thought that picture was ok then sure, pulling a string out of your cats butt while it was screaming for its life probably made sense to you. Hope you realize now how completely stupid you were for doing it and for posting this!!

Leave a Reply